Thinking quite frequently about what I’m going to do after college causes me to evaluate what I want to accomplish as a designer and a maker. I very recently quit a job that was primarily a source of income and not much else in order for me to focus more on academics and design in general. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to entertain non-design jobs anymore, however it’s overwhelming when I begin to think about what I do want to entertain.
I keep grappling with whether or not I apply for jobs or internships that don’t particularly interest me in order for me to purely gain experience doing design jobs. My parents will name companies and say, “Hey, you could design for them one day.” And even the thought of feeling like I have to work for a company I have no interest in makes me feel uninspired. Should those two things go hand-in-hand, at least where I’m at in my career right now?
Something else I struggle with is applying to jobs and going through the process only to feel like I might not want it. I have a horrible tendency to feel like I owe people something, which leads me to want to take jobs but only out of that obligation. I think that stems from needing to learn to feel like I can do things selfishly. Create for myself, learn for myself, and do things for myself.